The Sin We Don’t Talk About: When Piety Forgets Its Parents

In a small town, a man once said with confidence,

“We don’t do that here. We don’t commit that sin.”

His words carried certainty—perhaps even pride.

But Islam teaches us to pause when we feel morally safe, because arrogance often hides in comfort.

For there is a sin quieter than the ones we publicly condemn.

A sin that does not shake communities, yet slowly fractures families.

The sin of neglecting one’s parents.

Islam Is Not Only About What You Avoid—But Who You Abandon

Islam does not measure righteousness solely by the sins we don’t commit.

It measures faith by who we show up for when it costs us comfort.

A man may proudly say:

• “I don’t drink.”

• “I don’t gamble.”

• “I don’t engage in haram relationships.”

Yet at the same time:

• His mother counts coins to manage her household.

• His father grows older without support or companionship.

• He budgets vacations, outings, and luxuries for his wife and children—

  
  

  but says, “I can’t afford it,” when it comes to his parents.

This contradiction is not cultural—it is spiritual.

Allah ﷻ places birr al-walidayn (kindness to parents) immediately after worshiping Him alone:

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents…”

(Qur’an 17:23)

Not after marriage.

Not after children.

Not when it’s convenient.

The Prophet ﷺ and the Weight of Parents

A man once came to the Prophet ﷺ asking permission to go for jihad.

The Prophet ﷺ asked him:

“Are your parents alive?”

The man replied, “Yes.”

The Prophet ﷺ said,

“Then strive in their service.”

(Bukhari & Muslim)

In a time when physical struggle for Islam was at its peak,

serving one’s parents was elevated to jihad.

Today, how easily we dismiss:

• Funding a mother’s Umrah

• Taking her to visit her homeland

• Supporting her emotionally, financially, spiritually

Yet we justify expensive holidays for our nuclear family without hesitation.

Provision Is Not Just Money—It Is Priority

Islam does not say a man should neglect his wife and children—they are his responsibility.

But Islam never allows that responsibility to erase the rights of parents.

The Prophet ﷺ himself lived simply, yet:

• He stood for his daughter Fatimah when she entered

• He honored elders deeply

• He reminded companions that Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers

Not beneath luxury.

Not beneath comfort.

Not beneath social reputation.

Modern Faith Requires Moral Honesty

As modern Muslims, we must ask uncomfortable questions:

• Why do we shame public sins but excuse private neglect?

• Why is financial sacrifice praised for weddings and vacations,

  
  

  but questioned when it comes to parents?

• Why do we measure righteousness by appearances rather than responsibilities?

Neglect does not always look like abandonment.

Sometimes it looks like silence, delay, excuses, and “later.”

Umrah Is Not a Luxury When It’s for a Mother

When a man says, “I can’t afford to take my mother to Umrah or to visit her homeland,”

yet affords leisure, upgrades, and comforts—

this is not about money.

It is about where the heart allocates value.

The Prophet ﷺ warned us:

“The pleasure of Allah lies in the pleasure of the parent, and the anger of Allah lies in the anger of the parent.”

(Tirmidhi)

A Reminder Without Judgment

This is not a message of condemnation—it is a call to reflection.

Islam is not just about avoiding major sins.

It is about honoring the people through whom Allah brought you into existence.

If we truly claim,

“We don’t do that sin,”

then let us be honest enough to ask:

Have we committed the sin of neglect, disguised as responsibility?

May Allah ﷻ soften our hearts,

reorder our priorities,

and make us among those whose righteousness begins at home.

Ameen.